Jojo's Fan mail
by OtterFrog
Summary: Ever wonder what would happen if our world managed to make contact with that of the Whos? Especially those who just love the Smallest Who of All:


Fan Mail

"We really should put a stop to all this!"

Sally gave Ned a puzzled look as she sipped her coffee. "Why? I don't see the harm in it. Besides, I think he likes the attention."

"That's the point! He's getting too much attention! And from what, girl who-mans! What do we know about them anyway? Nothing! We don't even know what they look like! It could only lead to something that's…." He paused a moment then finished lamely "…no good."

His wife put down her cup and took his hand. "Oh come now. It can't be that bad. Besides, if those girl who-mans are anything like our girls, this will all be over in a month or two. Probably even just a week. Soon they'll find some other famous boy to swoon over and - he'll- get all those letters."

Now the mayor of Who-Ville got a bit puffed up. "What? In just a week? Jojo isn't good enough for them? Ha! They should know what a bright and marvelous young spark of Whohood they're writing! "

At this point the doorbell rang which spared Sally the problem of answering that one. With a sigh of relief she turned to the nearest daughter. "Headie, dear, will you get that for Mommy?"

"Why? It'll only be more sacks of mail for Jojo," Headie pouted.

"Perhaps, dear, but it could also be the new dolls I ordered from the Whomington Mall for you girls."

Headie gasped in delight. "You mean the Brood Girls collection??? Whee!!"

Ned gave a chuckle when she dashed off to fulfill the chore. "It doesn't take much to make them happy. Thankfully."

"Speak for yourself, have you any idea how much those dolls cost? And then of course next week they'll be asking for the outfits. But if it keeps their minds off all that fan mail for Jojo, I suppose it's worth it."

"Speaking of sacks…" Ned went back into his glower when Headie dragged in two large bags. She dumped them in front of them then turned to run off. She gave her parents a warm smile over her shoulder, "Thanks Mom! Thanks dad! Those dolls are lovely! And mine is the prettiest of all!"

This started a chorus in the very large living room amidst the sounds of ripping paper. "You wish! MY doll is the prettiest!" "No, MINE is!" "Huh, your doll couldn't win a contest with a G.I. Who doll!" "I know! Let's have a beauty pagent!" "Yes! Lets's!" "Yayy!"

"Well, that will keep them busy for the rest of the day," Sally smiled. Ned gave more of a grimace.

"It will until they have a tie and come to ME to make the decision! Last time I had to choose between a kitten plushie and a rainbow pony. Do you have any idea how hard it is to choose between that and keep them all happy?"

She smiled again and kissed him on the cheek. "But at least they value your opinion, being the mayor and all."

He melted out of his bad mood at that. "Yes, I suppose you're right. And anyway it wasn't much of a contest. That pony won hands down. Now, where are we going to put all this stuff this time? I think his room is full."

"They'll have to go into the laundry room for now." She decided. "The mudroom and pantries are full as well. Dear, you're going to be late Let me get your lunchbox."

"Thanks, and I may be a bit late tonight, the Who chorus wants to practice the new verses for the who play this afternoon." Ned packed up his briefcase, picked up his fish and was about to turn to the door when he spied a few letters poking out from one of the sacks. He studied them for a moment, then, with a quick glance to make sure Sally wasn't looking, plucked the letters up and quickly tucked them into his pocket. Surely Jojo wouldn't miss these and besides, he really wanted to know just what those girl humans were writing his only son about.

"Here you are, dear." Sally handed him the filled box. "I put in a couple extra Who bars so you won't get too hungry before you come home for dinner."

"That's great, thanks dear!" Giving his wife a quick kiss, Ned dashed out the door. (Not too fast or else the water in the fish bowl would spill.)

As he made his way to the town hall he brooded over the events of the past months. Somehow the event of his world being shaken loose and Horton saving them had gotten out into yet another world (How many worlds WERE there anyway, for who's sake????) in the form of a MOVIE (again, for who's sake!!)and since then a mysterious race of beings called 'whomans' were suddenly infatuated with his own world, especially the young females. They had locked on to his son with the tenacity of variegated toothfish (A very aggressive fish species in the world of Who, with very large teeth. Once they bite something they never let go.) Jojo was at first surprised by all the sudden piles of mail but after two days of being in his room and reading, he seemed, as his mother had guessed, to enjoy the attention. At least it was just written correspondence and not face-to-face, the shy Who could deal with it.

His father, however, was concerned, which was why he had taken those loose letters. He knew it was wrong and if Sally found out she would really give him an earful but he just HAD to see just what was being said to his only son. Were they just telling him how great he was or sending magazine subscriptions? Were they complimenting him on his wonderful machine he had built in the old observatory, or sending him photos of themselves stretched out on their couches? He had to know. He needed to know!

When he had entered his office and closed the door, he took out the purloined letters and tossed them on the desk before him. Sitting down, he studied them suspiciously as if they were going to jump up and nip him on the nose. (At least he knew they weren't going to put a staple in his forehead.) He remained that way for about 5 minutes.

'Well, this isn't getting me anywhere,' he decided and picked up the one on top by one corner. He looked at the written address done in pink ink and gave a small smile. Pink. It seemed harmless enough. He cut the envelope open, gingerly took out the note and unfolded it to read.

"Mr Mayor?" came that nasal tone almost in his ear.

"Eeyah!" Ned dropped the letter he had been about to study then made a scramble to snatch the fluttering paper. He succeeded in grabbing it and held it against his chest. Only when he was sure it was secure did he turn to face Miss Yelp.

His assistant, as usual, stared at him with the same expression she used round the clock, waiting for him to explain his actions.

He gave it his best shot. "Oh yes, Miss Yelp. I was just in here reading…ah…looking over some…ah…paperwork from home. Yes…paperwork. My wife…you remember her? Sally? She found this very important letter and thought it was an important matter to discuss. Later. Tonight." He gave her what he hoped was a convincing smile.

Miss Yelp just gave a glance at the paper the mayor held clutched in his hand and then studied her clipboard. "Your appointments today consist of two store openings, one speech at the WhoAquarium and then a meeting with the city council concerning the number of street lights needed in the new playground."

"Yes, fine. Thank you, Miss Yelp. I will…ah..make a note of this and…" He was interrupted by a paper already listing his chores thrust almost into his nose. Giving a sheepish smile (Did he use any other when facing his assistant, he wondered) he took it. "Yes, the list. Thank you."

With only a twist in the corner of her mouth as an emotion, Miss Yelp turned and left his office. For a wild moment Ned entertained the thought of requesting her to wear a bell around her neck to give him some sort of warning when she approached, then gave up that notion. It was then he noticed his 'very important paperwork from home' was written on bright pink and purple stationary. He winced but flumped back in his seat to smooth out the crinkles and read.

It seemed innocent enough, the girl went gushing on and on about how cute Jojo was and how she wished they could meet and how Jojo would enjoy her own school much better and how she loved his voice. Ned smiled at that. He just knew everybody else loved his osn as much as he did. It went on that way for a few more lines then….

Ned's eyes grew bigger with each line and his mouth dropped open in total synchronization. What in the world….? What kind of 'fan mail' was THIS???

He scrunched up the letter and tossed it into the wastebasket and snatched up the next letter. Reading quickly, he saw that it followed the first almost exactly. And so did the third. And the fourth.

After reading (and scrunching and tossing) the small stack of letters he sat there slumped in his chair staring at the wall. He couldn't believe that ANYONE would ask a total stranger such PERSONAL questions!

"Jojo, is that a sweater you're wearing or is that really your own fur?"

"Jojo, your furry feet are cute but do you have any toes in there?"

"Jojo, do you wear any pants or is that all just you?"

"Jojo, I hope you don't mind me asking but if you're all furry, how do you go to the bathroom? And when you REALLY gotta go, what do you do when one of your sisters are in there? (I have 2 sisters and they're always hogging the bathroom at my house!)"

Ned slumped down even more in his chair. Ok, so now does he do about this? He couldn't forbid the mail given to Jojo, that would make it clear he had taken some and read them, hich would shake Jojo's trust in him. He had to admit it was a total breach of privacy to take those letters but now he certainly couldn't give them back, not in the condition they were in now. He glanced dully over at the crumpled (and also ripped) pieces and sighed.

"Mr Mayor!"

Once again he reacted with a strangled 'gyaah!' fell off the chair, grabbed the corner of his desk, frantically tried to pull himself up, knocked his head on the corner, fell back again, then pulled himself up to a standing position, rubbing his head and wincing. The thought of belling her came back with a vengeance.

"Please, Miss Yelp. A knock at my door once in a while would be nice." He moaned.

"I did. You didn't answer.' came the curt reply. "You're due at the store openings in 20 minutes."

"Yes. Yes, of course. Thank you." Ned took him hand from his head and noticed that thankfully, there was no bleeding. He wearily filled his briefcase and was about to leave when Miss Yelp added "The janitor is on his way up to empty the wastebasket."

"Fine. Fine," he muttered absently then he realized what she had said. The letters! If they got out and someone else read them… "Aaahhh on second thought, just tell him I'll take care of the trash." He turned around and swiftly emptied the contents into his briefcase while Miss Yelp stood there in stony silence. "Mustn't give the janitor too much to carry, right? He could…pull a muscle or something!" he gave a weak chuckle, then dashed out, breathing a sigh of relief.

The rest of the day went quietly but as Ned went through the motions of being mayor his thoughts kept returning to the letters and what his son must be reading every day. Thankfully he didn't mess up too much, short of cutting the store manager's tie along with the ribbon and knocked the punch bowl over in the aquarium tank. At the end of the day he wearily made his way back to his house.

After greeting the girls and being made to admire almost each and every one of the Brood Girls dolls and the various poses, he found his way to the kitchen and Sally. He removed the fish bowl from his briefcase, carefully setting the bowl on the table and just allowing the case to flop onto the floor, he followed its example by flopping into his chair.

"Rough day, dear?" Sally gave him a kiss as she worked on getting the very long table set for dinner.

"Oh, you know. Just the usual." Ned absently rubbed his head where he had smacked it on the desk and winced. Sally moved his hand away to examine the damage.

"Oh my, almost where you hit it the last time. I'll get an ice pack for you, sweetheart."

"Thanks," Ned muttered. His mind was on Jojo and how he was going to phrase the questions to get the information he wanted –without- tipping him off that his dad knew of some of the letters' content. He squeezed his eyes shut and sighed. It wasn't going to be easy but he had to do it. 'Might as well be now and get it over with,' he told himself. 'Just gotta word it juuusstt right.'

As he stood up to go over to Jojo's room Sally placed the icepack on his head. The coolness dulled the throb and almost made him feel like a whole Who again.

At the corner of the large hallway he tentatively knocked on his son's door. "Jojo? Are you there?"

He heard the rustling of a small body trying to make headway through a room filled with sacks, then the door opened and Jojo looked up at his dad quizzically through dark bangs.

Ned smiled warmly. "Hey Jojo. May I come in?"

Jojo looked back in his filled room, then back at Ned, shrugged and went back into his room, leaving the door open.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'," Ned squeezed through the doorway and made his way through the numerous sacks brimming with mail tucked in every available space. Jojo was lying in his back on his bed studying a school book. "Ah yes, studying, I see. Good! Good! We all have new things to learn." He looked around for a chair but it too had been taken over by the mail sacks. With a smile of resignation, he sat down on one of the mail bags. Surprisingly it was rather comfortable. He sat in silence, clasping and unclasping his hands, wondering how to start. 'Well, start by –saying- something!' he told himself. 'Anything!'

He cleared his throat and gave a weak laugh. "You've seem to have gotten quite a bit of mail here now, son. Yes sir, quite a bit. Heh heh."

Jojo looked over his book at him. He gave another noncommittabul shrug. "Yeah. I guess."

"A lot of reading here. Yep, a lot of reading." Ned glanced about, noting how some bags had seemed to have been emptied and were stacked up on other filled bags. "And I hope you haven't been letting reading all this interfere with your homework now, right?"

Jojo shook his head. "No, I don't."

Another period of silence, then Ned swallowed and tried again. "But you do…read them…don't you? I mean…you don't want to disappoint your…er…fans..now, do we?"

"I used to, but I don't anymore." Came the answer. This rather surprised Ned.

"You…don't?"

"Huh uh." Jojo put down his book and looked at his dad, then decided to continue. "I tried at first but they all seemed to say the same thing. 'I love you, Jojo!' 'You're cute, Jojo!' 'I wish you were my dance date, Jojo!'" the small Who made a face. "If that's all they're going to be like, I didn't want to read the rest! It got pretty boring."

Ned gave a mental sigh of relief, apparently his son hadn't gotten to any of the later letters yet. "So..what are you going to do with all this? Leave it lying about? It could be a fire hazard, son."

Suddenly Ned saw something in his son's eyes he rarely ever saw, a spark of excitement. "I'm gonna use them, dad!"

"Ah..ok..good! Um..use them..in what way, may I ask?"

"Well, I was just thinking, what if my Symphony-Phone not only made music, but also confetti??"

Ned was taken aback for a moment. "Con..confetti?"

"Yeah!" For once Jojo was excited and drawing up his knees, he hugged them to his chest. "At the very last blast, the biggest horn just –shoots- out tons of confetti waay up in the sky!? Wouldn't that be cool!?"

Ned looked around. "And so you want to use all these letters for…"

"Well, I couldn't ask Mom to let me buy all the paper I needed, so I thought I'd use all these letters that I'm not going to be able to read anyway." Jojo's face suddenly fell as he watched Ned gaze around him. "You….don't think it's a good idea….do you.."

Ned finished his room gazing and looked at his son. "No, I don't think it's a good idea at all." Jojo was about to slink back into his book when Ned laughed and embraced his son. "I think it's a GREAT idea!!"

Jojo's smile started small but it quickly grew as he hugged his dad back. "Thanks! Ah…I hope the council won't mind, I mean, all that paper could make a mess and all…"

The mayor shook his head. "They won't mind, I'm make certain of that! In fact I'll….I'll threaten with a elephant sitting on them if they so much as make one shake of the head! You can count on that!"

Jojo gave one of his rare laughs then Ned told him to continue studying as he carefully made his way through the mail sacks and out into the hallway again. There, he straightened his tie, took a deep satisfied breath then retired to his own bedroom. Sally was waiting for him with another ice pack.

"I was wondering where you went off to. Talking to Jojo?"

"Yep, one of the best talks yet, as a matter of fact!"

"Oh that's good." Sally beamed at him. "I was hoping to catch you in a good mood."

"Well, I certainly am in a good mood now and….wait….what for?" Ned looked at his wife and steadied himself. "What…what happened?"

"Well, I got this letter today and….." here Sally unfolded it eagerly. "And Mother wants to come over for a visit all next month! And my sisters too! With their kids! Won't that be fun?!"

Pasting on a smile for his wife, Ned wondered if Thidwick had room for him in the fishbowl.


End file.
